


oh boy, the avengers are on twitter

by EveryFandomThereIs, Impossible_Girl_04



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Asexual Bruce Banner, Asexual Clint Barton, Asexual Natasha Romanov, Bisexual Peter Parker, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gay Bucky Barnes, I Don't Even Know, I'm British so is my spelling, M/M, Multi, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Pietro Maximoff Lives, The Avengers Are Good Bros
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:14:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 13,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25803448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EveryFandomThereIs/pseuds/EveryFandomThereIs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impossible_Girl_04/pseuds/Impossible_Girl_04
Summary: birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfckerthis is wonderfully chaoticAngryRedhead @TheBlackWidowdid spiderman get you too?birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfckernah, I chose this, he agreed
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons/Skye | Daisy Johnson, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 136
Kudos: 296





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was spawned from boredom and consuming ridiculous amounts of twitter fics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spidey “convinces” the avengers to get twitter

Spoderman @Spider-Man  
first attempt to get the avengers on twitter 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Kid, why? 

Spoderman @Spider-Man  
why not, they either join of their own accord or I make them an account 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Bold of you to assume I didn’t already have a twitter account 

God of Lesbians @Thor of Thunder  
MAN OF SPIDERS HELPED WITH THIS 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
thanks buck 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
I blame Shuri 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
hush bucket, I've made you upgrades 

The og furry @King_T’Challa_of_Wakanda  
Shuri, why 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
I guess I didn’t get twitter fast enough 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Kid... betrayal, I thought I was the no. 1 science bro? 

Spoderman @Spider-Man  
Sorry Mr. Stark, you snooze you lose 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
this is wonderfully chaotic 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
did spiderman get you too? 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
nah, I chose this, he agreed 

Least favourite bird @folcon  
dude, I thought you were bae, turns out you're just fam 

Spoderman @Spider-Man  
bro, you were too slow 

Spoderman @Spider-Man  
I might see who else I can make get a twitter


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spidey adds some more people to twitter, some are more pleased than others

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Hahahaha 

Whore machine @RhodesIsland  
Tony, control your child 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Hahahahahaha, nope, that is hilarious 

Slime boi venom @slime-y boi  
Spidey, why, I hate it, but V loves it, thanks 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Sorry Mr. Venom sir 

Slime boi venom @slime-y boi  
You're lucky that V would kill me if I made you sad 

Pan without a plan @Deadedpool  
Love it Spidey 

*** 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
@Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda, meme queen, where are you?

SpideyStan @Flash  
As if you know a princess, @The Only PBJ 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
sup beter? How did you take down captain America? 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Ve shot him in ze legs because his shield is ze size of a dinner plate and he is an idiot. 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
You may be verified on twitter 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
But are you verified in the eyes of god? 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Thor say yes, we are verified in the eyes of god 

God of Lesbians @Thor of Thunder  
You are in fact verified in Loki’s eyes as well 

Mischief and Snakes @Snek God  
@Spider-Man, @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda and @The Only PBJ are my favourite avengers 

God of Lesbians @Thor of Thunder  
Harsh but fair 

*** 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
Peter what the hell? 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
I believe it’s a compliment @MJ 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
It is a compliment! MJ scares me like miss Potts scares me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be every Friday


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Venom gets on Eddies twitter and thirst tweets

Slime boi venom @slime-y boi  
HE IS SLEEPING WHAT IS THIS 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
It’s twitter, V, you can talk to people here 

Slime boi venom @slime-y boi  
INTERESTING 

Slime boi venom @slime-y boi  
WHO CAN WE TALK TO? 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Anyone, if they have twitter that is 

Slime boi venom @slime-y boi  
SO WE CAN TALK TO ANNE AND DAN? 

DanTheMan @Dr.Dan  
Hello, Venom 

Anne of Green Gables @LawyerLady  
Hey V 

Slime boi venom @slime-y boi  
HELLO. WHAT ABOUT THOR 

God of Lesbians @Thor of Thunder  
Hello! How are you? 

Slime boi venom @slime-y boi  
WE ARE GOOD, WE LIKE YOUR ARMS, ESPECIALLY YOUR BICEPS 

Anne of Green Gables @LawyerLady  
V, hon, you’re going to ruin your hosts reputation 

Slime boi venom @slime-y boi  
APPARENTLY WE SHOULD NOT HAVE SENT THAT 

Slime boi venom @slime-y boi  
WHY IS IT WRONG, NO ONE KNOWS WHO HE IS 

Anne of Green Gables @LawyerLady  
Just try not to do it again, okay? 

Slime boi venom @slime-y boi  
OKAY, WE LOVE YOU 

*** 

Slime boi venom @slime-y boi  
Just what I wanted when I woke, to find that my parasite ha- 

Hhnnngg Black Widow @I’m a lesbian  
Venom killed him before he could finish 

Steeb and Boinky @they’re_gay_your_honour  
Then how was it sent? 

Hhnnngg Black Widow @I’m a lesbian  
Venom sent it as a warning 

Slime boi venom @slime-y boi  
Nah, V just hates being called parasite 

Hhnnngg Black Widow @I’m a lesbian  
So we know that venom’s host read their past tweets, but he hasn’t denied liking Thor’s arms 

Steeb and Boinky @they’re_gay_your_honour  
Its Thor’s arms, they make everyone go hhhhhng, like have you seen them? My boy stronk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try something for the next chapter


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has a separate account and someone works out who he is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy, this be large
> 
> Whoops, sorry I'm late
> 
> Also early series 3 spoilers of AoS (before Parting Shot)

Look at all them chickens @Pan-with-a-plan  
hhnngg, the avengers, they be s t r o n k 

Look at all them chickens @Pan-with-a-plan  
I'm but a simple pan, how am I meant to focus? 

Look at all them chickens @Pan-with-a-plan  
Oh boy, o h b o y 

Steeb and Boinky @they’re_gay_your_honour  
The avengers killed them 

Steeb and Boinky @they’re_gay_your_honour  
But I agree, hhng 

Look at all them chickens @Pan-with-a-plan  
Like Steve, he be much stronk 

Look at all them chickens @Pan-with-a-plan  
And Bucky, they both be very stronk and fighty 

Steeb and Boinky @they’re_gay_your_honour  
Share your pain 

Steeb and Boinky @they’re_gay_your_honour  
Or don’t 

Look at all them chickens @Pan-with-a-plan  
They,,,, be s t r o n g and m u s c l e s 

Look at all them chickens @Pan-with-a-plan  
They be on their phones, why are they blushing? 

Look at all them chickens @Pan-with-a-plan  
Can they see? 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Are you an avenger? Where do you see? 

Look at all them chickens @Pan-with-a-plan  
Um no, I'm definitely 100% not an avenger 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Fine then, keep your secrets 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
But I think I know who you are, dm me 

*** 

Tremors: folcon 

Pan-with-a-plan: shit 

Tremors: I'm not going to tell anyone  
Tremors: or am I?  
Tremors: I'm not, don’t panic 

Pan-with-a-plan: right... they just be stronk and I am but a simple pan 

Tremors: I have that problem with my group  
Tremors: they’re all h o t, and that includes my partners, they’re adorable 

Pan-with-a-plan: oh? Tell me more, it’ll take my mind of Steve and Buck training  
Pan-with-a-plan: f u c k, they’re sparring against each other 

Tremors: anygays, so I meet Fitz and Simmons when I was basically kidnapped and then had to do some like fancy hacking shit  
Tremors: FitzSimmons we like in Love(tm) with each other but adorable dumbasses about it  
Tremors: then I was basically adopted by the group and thought I liked the resident dickhead, but ya know, he was a dick  
Tremors: shit happened, and HYDRA fucked everything over meaning that Jemma (Simmons) had to pretend to be HYDRA  
Tremors: and I love her, but undercover stuff is not her forte, so Coulson sent Bobbi to stop her from dying  
Tremors: and h o l y s h i t, Bobbi’s hot, like damn girl (she’s got like a boyfriend though, I think)  
Tremors: more stuff happened, Jemma fell through a space portal for a couple of months, fell in love with a dude, came back w/o the dude (spoiler alert: he died)  
Tremors: then after that Fitz and Jemma talked about their feelings and were like ‘hey I like you and daisy’ and then we started dating and forced Coulson to let us of duty so we could go on a date  
Tremors: and that’s about it  
Tremors: oh, I also found my parents, found out that my mum was a murderer and then my dad had to kill my mum cause she tried to kill me 

Pan-with-a-plan: jesus christ 

Tremors: g2g, Coulson just called, spy time 

Pan-with-a-plan: isn’t Coulson dead? 

Tremors: uh, whoops?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some of the Avengers meet Daisy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is, late I went back to school yesterday and when I got home the wifi wasn't working

Group chat – all or nothing 

Folcon: so I've just met a kid who's also in a poly relationship 

cawcaw mtherfcker: interesting.... 

BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi: okay? 

TheBlackWidow: names 

Folcon: I think they said their partners were Jemma Simmons and Fitz  
Folcon: I don’t know the kids name 

TheBlackWidow: Don’t worry. I have my ways 

Folcon: that would be ominous if I didn’t know you 

cawcaw mtherfcker: its ominous anyway 

BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi: it really is 

Folcon: anyway, could you look into what happened with Coulson if that’s not too much to ask? 

*** 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Interesting 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
We should probably be scared 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Definitely, but like, its hot so we’re fine 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
true 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Quit thirsting over me on twitter idiots 

*** 

TheBlackWidow: Coulson? 

Folcon: uh yeah? 

TheBlackWidow: As in Phil Coulson? The Shield agent who died during the Battle of New York? 

Folcon: yep, that’s the only Coulson I know 

cawcaw mtherfcker: Are you sure?  
cawcaw mtherfcker: Because he’s kinda dead 

Folcon: well 

BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi: the fuck do you mean ‘well’ 

Folcon: well 

TheBlackWidow: Sam, you better answer this properly unless you want your intestines to be pulled out through your ass and your tongue to be turned inside out. 

Folcon: I would repeat ‘well’ again but I'm scared 

cawcaw mtherfcker: you should be 

Folcon: so I may or may not have another account 

TheBlackWidow: “Pan-with-a-plan"? Your thirst account? About us all right? 

Folcon: okay, of course you know, in my defence you’re all really hot so can you blame me? 

BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi: nope 

TheBlackWidow: we see all. 

Cawcaw mtherfcker: we know all 

Folcon: so back to Coulson, I was talking to the kid who mentioned Coulson a couple of times and then when I asked just kinda disappeared 

Tremors: heard you were talking shit and you didn’t think that I would hear it 

cawcaw mtherfcker: so, you’re the bitch who is playing with our heartstrings and making us think that Coulson’s alive 

TheBlackWidow: what the fuck Clint 

BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi: how the hell did they manage to add themselves 

Folcon: so this is the kid I was talking about 

Tremors: so Coulson is definitely 100% not alive 

cawcaw mtherfcker: why the fuck you lying? Why you always lying? Stop fucking lying. 

Tremors: a fellow man of culture I see 

TheBlackWidow: oh God, there’s two of them 

BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi: oh no, we had this problem when we met Shuri and Peter


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FitzSkimmons meets Natasha

Science biatch @ScottishMonkey  
What the hell Daisy? 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Whoops? 

WhAt'S yOuR dAmAgE hEaThEr? @EnglishBean  
Daisy why 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Heathers and matching usernames because we’re adorable? 

Your dead gay son @I’m_gay  
Heathers is wonderful and I love it 

Science biatch @ScottishMonkey  
I regret showing you musicals 

WhAt'S yOuR dAmAgE hEaThEr? @EnglishBean  
It could’ve been worse Fitz, at least it isn't mean girls 

WhAt'S yOuR dAmAgE hEaThEr? @EnglishBean  
‘I once saw her put a d in the word orange’ ‘we’re going to America? Maybe I could meet an obese person!’ 

Science biatch @ScottishMonkey  
Oh yeah, it can always be worse 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
You @Tremors 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Me @TheBlackWidow 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Yeah, you 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
You worked out who my partners are yet? 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Of course. 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Let me introduce you 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
@ScottishMonkey is Fitz, engineering 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
@EnglishBean is Simmons, biochem 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Guys, meet Black Widow, I hacked into her group chat 

Science biatch @ScottishMonkey  
You hacked into the black widow’s group chat? What the hell Daisy 

WhAt'S yOuR dAmAgE hEaThEr? @EnglishBean  
Daisy, love, what were you thinking?

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Would it be irresponsible of me to say that I wasn’t thinking? 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
And that I was maybe kinda possibly slightly sorta drunk ish maybe? 

WhAt'S yOuR dAmAgE hEaThEr? @EnglishBean  
DAISY! 

Science biatch @ScottishMonkey  
DAISY!!! 

*** 

Group chat – three bros chilling in a hot tub zero feet apart cause they’re very gay 

ScottishMonkey: seriously? 

EnglishBean: *rolls eyes* 

Tremors: yeet? 

Tremors: step the fuck up kyle, no seriously, step the fuck up 

ScottishMonkey: for the last time daisy, my first name is not kyle 

Tremors: Are you sure about that? Scottonthy? Charlize? Ericamin? 

ScottishMonkey: YES IM SURE 

EnglishBean: Phillipanda, of course your name isn't kyle 

ScottishMonkey: I hate you, you’re sleeping on the sofa 

Tremors: if we’re both sleeping on the sofa it means that you’ll be lonely 

ScottishMonkey: fuck, you’re right


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Villager noises and bees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's literally the notes I had for this chapter
> 
> So sorry this is late, I was half asleep all of yesterday and forgot to post this

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Hrrm 

God save the queen @HunterGatherer  
Hhrmm? 

Bobithy @NotRobert  
Hrm 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Hhrrm?? 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Hrmm 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
Hhrmm 

Guy in the chair @Nedward  
hhhhhhhrm 

God save the queen @HunterGatherer  
Hhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
ACH! ACH! ACH! 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
What? 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Shut it Steeb, you ruined it 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
Hrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Hrm hrrm hhhrrrmm hrmmm 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
bees 

Slime boi venom @slime-y boi  
WHAT ARE THESE BEES YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT? 

The lord yeetith and yoinkith away @MackHammer  
B e e s 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
B E E S ! ! 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Consciousness is an illusion, its worm time babeyy 

God save the queen @HunterGatherer  
Yaggy. 

The lord yeetith and yoinkith away @MackHammer  
Jazzy 

God save the queen @HunterGatherer  
The lord yeetith and yoinkith away 

The lord yeetith and yoinkith away @MackHammer  
Yote 

The lord yeetith and yoinkith away @MackHammer  
Yot 

The lord yeetith and yoinkith away @MackHammer  
Yo 

The lord yeetith and yoinkith away @MackHammer  
Y 

God save the queen @HunterGatherer  
I’m friends with your mum’s chiropractor 

The lord yeetith and yoinkith away @MackHammer  
Tasty


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coulson and May find out that Daisy has slightly let the cat out of the bag

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Whoops, getting called into the Directors office felling like I'm getting called into the headmaster's office like when I hacked the projectors again 

The lord yeetith and yoinkith away @MackHammer  
It’s because you fucked up Tremors 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
No shit Sherlock 

The lord yeetith and yoinkith away @MackHammer  
Shut it Watson 

Capt. AmericaLover @DadJokesRUs  
You did mess up though 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
But have you considered that it was an accident and that I'm used to talking to peeps who know? 

WhAt'S yOuR dAmAgE hEaThEr? @EnglishBean  
She does have a point, sir. 

Capt. AmericaLover @DadJokesRUs  
Point or not, she still needs to get into the office 

Mayday but not for me @Maytheforcebewithyou  
And then it’s training time 

Science biatch @ScottishMonkey  
And in Daisy’s defence, it was technically Black Widows fault 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Excuse me? 

Science biatch @ScottishMonkey  
I mean what? 

*** 

TheBlackWidow: so, you’re saying that Coulson is alive 

Tremors: uh yeah  
Tremors: I mean no 

*** 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Holyshit, wow im gay, black widow just dm’d me 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Um, thanks? 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
You weren't meant to see that 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
I assumed 

*** 

TheBlackWidow: you’re a bad liar 

Tremors: so I'm told, so maybe he’s alive and maybe he was possibly given the same drug that he gave me  
Tremors: that is definitely not called GH-325 and was destroyed when a building collapsed on top of it  
Tremors: it’s also not made out of alien stuff which has crazy healing powers 

TheBlackWidow: thanks 

*** 

Spoopy Sister @BitchyWitchy  
Spidey, I don’t need twitter 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
That is not correct, anyway, I gave your brother one too 

Speedy boi @nyoom  
Thanks, I love it 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
At least someone appreciates my talent


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spidey does some exposing, part 1

Throw me my keys @WhyTheFuckWouldISayPrinter?  
Hey @Spider-Man, any tea on the avengers and co? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
yeah but I shouldn’t it would ruin their reputation 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Actually never mind 

Throw me my keys @WhyTheFuckWouldISayPrinter?  
Why the sudden change in heart? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Someone ate my chicken nuggies 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
I'm going to start with @cawcaw mtherfcker, as he’s the most likely suspect 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
I swear it wasn’t me, you’ve been taking lessons from Nat, you’re scary now (even though you still look like a puppy). I’ll get you more nuggets 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Hmm, flattery, that won't work 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Clint likes to seem like he’s an idiot, but he actually understands what we’re talking about most of the time, once he got stuck in the vents and me and Black Widow had to get him out while Bucky shouted “encouragement” 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Kid, why, my reputation 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
@I_Am_Iron_Man, did you eat my nuggies? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Nope, I haven't left my lab 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Okay, well, I'm going to expose you anyway 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Don’t pretend like you didn’t hunt me and clint out just make sure that we were okay with this 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Shush, I'm the one who's meant to be exposing people 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Mr. Stark likes to listen to musicals while he works, his favourite ones are Heathers and Legally Blonde, I've once caught him doing the bend and snap, it was traumatising 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
You joined in, and you suggested other musicals for us to watch 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
@BoinkyBucket, do you know who ate my nuggies? 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
You're going to expose me either way 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
True, but you can stop me from exposing anyone else 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Nah, carry on, you haven’t done Stevie yet 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Alrighty then, Bucky hates to sleep alone (the whole winter soldier schtick) so there’s usually an ongoing avengers sleepover and when the sleepover can’t happen, he’s being soft and romantic with his partner 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
@CaptainAmerica, nuggies? 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
What are nuggies? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Exposing time then, Steve pretends not to know and understand the memes and vines (he knows what nuggies are) and he melts every time his partner calls him by a nickname (which is often)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spidey does some exposing, part 2

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
@TheBlackWidow , you wouldn’t eat my nuggies but I'm going to risk exposing you 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Dangerous choice, luckily you’re my паук ребенок 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Really? Thanks мама-паук 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
So now I'm soft, Natasha follows cat principles and its wonderful, she’s fallen asleep in the vents before and every time her partners sit down, she’s sat on their lap. She also loves the Charlies Angels movies 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
I would be angry with anyone else if they said that, but you called me мама-паук so it’s fine 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Thanks, мама-паук, who’s next @Thor of Thunder ? 

God of Lesbians @Thor of Thunder  
I did not eat your nuggets young spider 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Still have to do this, Thor refuses to use the toaster saying that lightning makes it better (I have yet to prove this scientifically), he also starts tiny thunderstorms inside when he’s really happy/angry 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
@BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi , you didn’t eat my nuggies but I'm still going to expose you out of fairness 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
Do what you have to do 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Bruce is very soft for his partners, he puts up with just about everything with a soft look on his face, there’ll be knives in the wall and he’ll just pull them out while softly telling them off for throwing knives in the common areas 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
It's very cute, @folcon your turn 

Least favourite bird @folcon  
I don’t think I’m technically an avenger though 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
They asked about ‘the avengers and co’ you’re included in that 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
He has no balance when walking, F.R.I.D.A.Y. has a tally chart of how many times he’s either fallen over or fallen into something, he also likes high places along with Clint, so they’re usually sat in the training room rafters together 

Least favourite bird @folcon  
Thanks kid 

Whore machine @RhodesIsland  
Those were brilliant 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
You were in the tower too, you’re not exempt 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Rhodey once managed to hack one of the Iron Man suits so whenever Tony tried to speak it would just play ‘never gonna give you up’ and F.R.I.D.A.Y. helped stop Tony from changing it. Also the suits would all start doing the cha cha slide whenever Tony tried to do maintenance

*** 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
@WhyTheFuckWouldISayPrinter? , thanks for the question 

Throw me my keys @WhyTheFuckWouldISayPrinter?  
Did you ever find out who ate your nuggies? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
I always knew, I ate them, I just wanted to expose them and get more nuggies 

Throw me my keys @WhyTheFuckWouldISayPrinter?  
That’s brilliantly evil 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Thanks, but now I've got so many nuggets, they all brought me nuggets cause they thought I was sad


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter confuses people by talking to the Avengers as himself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically this isn't late

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
@PirateSwagger4Life , you left your upgraded eyepatch in the tower 

Captain Eyepatch @PirateSwagger4Life  
Who are you? 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Oh, sorry Mr. Fury sir, wrong account 

Captain Eyepatch @PirateSwagger4Life  
Who are you and why are you talking to me? 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Don’t panic sir, I’ll get one of the avengers to sort it out 

Captain Eyepatch @PirateSwagger4Life  
Who are you and how do you know the Avengers? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Don’t panic Fury, he’s my intern 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Yep! That’s how I know the avengers 

Captain Eyepatch @PirateSwagger4Life  
Alright 

*** 

Beter Barker @The Only PBJ  
Did you know that there's an ice cream thingy in Australia called golden gaytime 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
That would be the name of my sextape 

Beter Barker @The Only PBJ  
Mr. Stark, noo 

I'mAddictedToTea @slurpslurpbitch  
Why did Tony freaking Stark reply to this random kid? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Cause he's Special™ 

SpideyStan @Flash  
Pfft, Penis isn't special 

I'mAddictedToTea @slurpslurpbitch  
Dude you just said that about Tony Stark's intern

*** 

Beter Barker @The Only PBJ  
Hi Princess Bitch 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Sup fother mucker 

Whomst. call? @Ghonstbubsters  
That?? Is the princess of Wakanda??? 

Beter Barker @The Only PBJ  
Who else would I b talking to at this godforsaken hour? 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Your other nerd friend? Or MJ? 

Beter Barker @The Only PBJ  
Perhaps. 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Do they have normal sleep schedules? 

Beter Barker @The Only PBJ  
Mayhaps 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Riiiight 

*** 

Beter Barker @The Only PBJ  
@Capt.Marvel hiiiiiiiiiiiiii 

The Better Captain @Capt.Marvel  
Hey kid, you coming over this weekend? 

I have two mums and they can kick your ass @MonicaRambeau-Danvers  
Bring the lightsabres 

Beter Barker @The Only PBJ  
Of course. Did you think I wouldn’t, like some kind of fool????? 

My wife is an alien @MariaRambeau  
We'll be having lasagne and no lightsabres in the house 

Beter Barker @The Only PBJ  
Oh no. That’s so sad. F.R.I.D.A.Y. play despacito. 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
Is this why F.R.I.D.A.Y. has been playing despacito for the last half an hour? 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
It’s a meme you Stove 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
You're not much better, Bucket 

Beter Barker @The Only PBJ  
They’re insulting each other while cuddling on a sofa that’s too small for two super soldiers


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Science Kids meet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically it is Friday

WhAt'S yOuR dAmAgE hEaThEr? @EnglishBean  
@Tremors , can you please tell Fitz to stop trying to create monkey LMDs. 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Why? It sounds fun @ScottishMonkey , do you need help with the coding? 

WhAt'S yOuR dAmAgE hEaThEr? @EnglishBean  
It is most certainly not fun, they’re everywhere. 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Do they work? 

Science biatch @ScottishMonkey  
I may have perhaps messed up slightly, they can walk up walls, they're on the ceiling 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Same 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Mayhaps you need a spider? 

Science biatch @ScottishMonkey  
That might be helpful, are you sticky or is it your suit? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
No comment. 

Science biatch @ScottishMonkey  
So if I had possibly accidently made a sticky suit you wouldn’t need it? 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
I will happily take that off your hands 

The og furry @King_T’Challa_of_Wakanda  
Shuri, no 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Shuri, yes 

Science biatch @ScottishMonkey  
Right, anyway, the monkeys have now gotten into the training room and the directors office 

*** 

Group chat – three bros chilling in a hot tub zero feet apart cause they’re very gay 

EnglishBean: have you really made a sticky suit? 

ScottishMonkey: Coulson asked me to see if I could make something like that 

Tremors: does it work? 

EnglishBean: priorities Daisy 

Tremors: I think those are wonderful priorities but okay 

*** 

New group chat was created 

[Tremors has added EnglishBean] 

[Tremors has added ScottishMonkey] 

[Tremors has added Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda] 

[Tremors has changed their name to Daisy] 

[Tremors has changed EnglishBean’s name to Simmons] 

[Tremors has changed ScottishMonkey’s name to Fitz] 

[Tremors has changed Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda’s name to Princess Shuri] 

[Tremors has changed the group chats name to Science Kids] 

Daisy: wow, that took a while 

Simmons: why? 

Princess Shuri: probably so I can be here 

Daisy: yep, Princess Shuri is known for her technological advancements 

Princess Shuri: just call me Shuri, princess sounds too formal 

Fitz: THE MONKEYS HAVE GOTTEN INTO THE WALLS SOMEHOW 

Simmons: hang on I'm coming 

Daisy: I should probably go help, talk later? 

Princess Shuri: sure, have fun 

Daisy: will do 

[Princess Shuri has changed their name to Shuri] 

Shuri: could I add some more science kids? I know a couple 

Daisy: don’t see why not FitzSimmons? 

Fitz: sure 

Simmons: sounds fine 

[Shuri has added The Only PBJ] 

[Shuri has changed The Only PBJ’s name to Peter] 

[Shuri has added MJ] 

[Shuri has added Nedward] 

[Shuri has changed Nedward’s name to Ned] 

[Shuri has added MonicaRambeau-Danvers] 

[Shuri has changed MonicaRambeau-Danvers's name to Monica] 

Shuri: that really does take a long time  
Shuri: kids, welcome to science class  
Shuri: state your name and what you’re good at for the class  
Shuri: I’m Shuri, and I'm a genius 

Peter: I’m Peter and I intern under SI so a bit of a jack of all trades kinda thing 

MJ: MJ, and I intern under Miss Potts for SI  
MJ: and Peter actually interns under Stark but he’s too modest to say that 

Ned: I'm Ned and I intern under SI for security 

Monica: I’m Monica and I work for NASA as an engineer 

Daisy: I’m Daisy, I hack stuff? 

Fitz: I’m Fitz, I’m engineering, Simmons is BioChem 

Simmons: I’m Jemma Simmons. I have 2 PhDs, one in biology and one in chemistry 

Shuri: well then, this is quite the science group

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a year older, woo


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> halloween

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Skeleton war time bitches 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Are you coming over? Avengers movie night and then you can be there for the Science Kids meet up soon 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
I'll have to go back in between but yeah 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
og furry is coming too 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Fuunnn, mr stark is inviting the other sort of avengers as well, so it'll be fun 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Nerf gun war? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
You bet; the Children have been fixed 

What do you have there? @a knife  
Who are the Children? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
They're Roomba's that can pick up more specific things so some of them are programmed to pick up just nerf bullets and put them in specific places 

HelpI’mAddictedToTea @slurpslurpbitch  
Snazzy 

*** 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Oh worm 

HelpI’mAddictedToTea @slurpslurpbitch  
Consciousness is an illusion  
ItS wOrM tImE bAbEyY 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Exactly, see @I_Am_Iron_Man , they get it 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Kid none of the avengers know what you mean though 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Clint and Bucky know 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Anyway, I wanna take Wanda and Pietro trick or treating cause they haven't gone before 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
You can go, but, 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
I’ll let Clint, Nat and Bucky “secretly” follow me? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
fine

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
YES!! Thank you mr stark @BitchyWitchy , @nyoom we can go trick or treating 

Speedy boi @nyoom  
Woooo, free sweets 

Spoopy Sister @BitchyWitchy  
nice 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
I’m literally a millionaire but okay 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Yeah Peter, tony likes to pay for our stuff, it makes him feel better about all the things we do for him 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Clint shut up, you're going to start another avenger's orgy rumour 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Bold of you to assume that that’s not my intention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How would you guys feel about a bunch of little ficlet type thingys that would be part of this universe? I have one planned for Wanda, Pietro and Peter going trick or treating. 
> 
> Also, if you guys have any prompts, I'll see about writting them


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets more Science Kids

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
So was I just supposed to find out that Pete had found more science friends when I found them discussing how to make the avengers a Baymax type robot? And personalised for each of us? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
And if it works making them for hospitals around the world 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
They're calling it HANA? 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Yep! H.A.N.A stands for ‘Helping Around ‘N’ About’ 

What do you have there? @a knife  
That’s adorable 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
They gave it an acronym because I love using acronyms, kid, you're killing me 

Your dead gay son @I’m_gay  
Who are the other science kids? 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
There’s me, MJ, Ned, Shuri, Monica, Daisy, Fitz and Simmons 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Mr. Stark has only met me, MJ, Ned, Shuri and Monica. Shuri introduced us to Daisy and FitzSimmons 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
I have so many science children, and kid, just call me Tony for crying out loud 

*** 

Group chat – Science Kids 

Peter: I was talking to Tony about H.A.N.A 

Daisy: don’t you call him mr stark? 

Peter: only to his face, he hates it, so I make sure to keep doing it 

Daisy: evil, I like it 

Peter: anygays, tony said that we could make the first prototype in his/my lab in avengers tower  
Peter: and he’ll count it as part of the internships, so you can all get high level internships while H.A.N.A is being made  
Peter: and he’ll make it offical (or get Miss Potts to do it) with your guardians 

Daisy: I bet the director would love that 

Simmons: he didn’t choose to disappear, it was Fury's fault 

Fitz: I'm kinda glad he did though, otherwise we wouldn’t have met 

Daisy: I’m sure I would’ve met two cute scientists at some point 

Simmons: well, statistically, 

Fitz: Jemma, we’re trying to be cute 

Peter: that’s adorable and all, but H.A.N.A  
Peter: tony just said that if we want, he’ll help and try and get Dr Banner and Dr Helen Cho to help with the medical side of things 

Simmons: Dr Banner? And Dr Cho? That’ll be very cool 

Fitz: we’ll be in the same room as Dr Banner? Awesome 

Daisy: don’t mind them they geek out about Dr Banner at least once a day 

Peter: that’s understandable, I have a friend like that 

Ned: DR BANNER AND TONY STARK WILL HELP US? 

Peter: here he is 

Ned: excuse me for being excited 

Peter: you literally see them on a regular basis 

MJ: losers 

Shuri: oh worm  
Shuri: that’ll be fun, just as long as they don’t get in our way 

Monica: hey peter, I was talking to mum (Captain Marvel) about it and she's wants to see if her one can go into space with her 

Peter: cool, you’re with NASA could you handle the space side of things? Her H.A.N.A would need to be smaller and more streamlined and be carried easily 

Monica: yeah, what about making sort of photon blasters for it? 

Shuri: it could have two power sources so like solar panelled and we could find a way that is can be powered from her photon blasts, so like small concentrated blasts that could charge it? 

Daisy: or it could be attachable to her suit? Like some sort of backpack? 

MJ: does the actual H.A.N.A have to be with her?  
MJ: what if it was connected to a watch or something and then she doesn’t need to take it with her everywhere 

Simmons: that could work but it wouldn’t be very effective if there was an emergency 

Ned: H.A.N.A could be in the watch, literally, and then could be with her at all time and still be able to go into space 

*** 

The Better Captain @Capt.Marvel  
Holy hell, @I_Am_Iron_Man , your science kids are smart, they’re discussing ideas about how my H.A.N.A can go into space with me 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
I know, it makes me happy, but I'm also terrified, I invited them all to the tower 

The Better Captain @Capt.Marvel  
Good luck, I think you’ll need it 

*** 

Group chat – Science Kids 

Fitz: what if H.A.N.A was shaped like a monkey  
Fitz: think about it, monkeys are friend shaped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys want chapter titles? They'll probably just be vines or something along those lines


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Science Kids visit the tower and the first prototype is created and Peter is bad at keeping his secret identity a secret

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Finally get to properly meet the rest of the science kids 

SpideyStan @Flash  
Stop it with the lies Penis, you don’t have an internship and you definitely couldn’t design a robot even with your friends to help 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Are you saying that I couldn’t design a robot? Cause that’s what it sounds like 

SpideyStan @Flash  
No! I was saying that @The Only PBJ couldn’t 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Press (x) for doubt 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
X 

Guy in the chair @Nedward  
X 

I have two mums and they can kick your ass @MonicaRambeau-Danvers  
X (I literally work at NASA and I'm Monica) 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
X (I’m Daisy) 

WhAt'S yOuR dAmAgE hEaThEr? @EnglishBean  
X (I’m Simmons, I have 2 PhDs) 

Science biatch @ScottishMonkey  
X (I’m Fitz, I have a PhD) 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Looks like the Science Kids came to my rescue 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
We're also nearly at the tower, can we land on top? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Yeah, there's a spot on the roof for that, otherwise people keep ruining my lawn 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Cool, we’ve landed 

*** 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Not what I thought I’d see when I walked into Tony Starks lab 

[video of Tony and Peter dancing to Sincerely, Me from Dear Evan Hansen, they’re loudly singing ‘I gotta tell you that life without you has been hard’ ‘hard?’ ‘has been bad’ ‘bad?’ ‘has been rough’ ‘kinky!’] 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
TAKE THAT DOWN, MY REPUTATION 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
@Tremors , you can leave that up, @I_Am_Iron_Man , your reputation is rubbish anyway 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Oh shit, you’re right 

*** 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
These kids are genius but they scare me 

[photo of the Science Kids crowded around a worktop covered in blueprints and random parts]  
[photo of Daisy and Ned sat around computer covered with lines of code]  
[photo of Shuri holding a fire extinguisher pointed at Peter who is holding something that looks like it's going to burst into flames] 

*** 

Group chat – Science Kids 

Monica: so, Peter, were you going to tell us that you were Spider-Man? 

Peter: wdym? I'm not Spider-Man 

Monica: you pacing the ceiling would suggest otherwise 

Peter: oh yeah, that’ll be a pretty big give away  
Peter: it’s meant to be a secret, but I guess you all know now 

*** 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
Dr Banner and Dr Cho arrived and now things have gotten even more chaotic if that was even possible 

[photo of Simmons, Helen Cho and Bruce Banner stood around test tubes, mid discussion] 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
They're discussing if Spider-Man's webs could be used as some sort of plaster 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
Spider-Man decided to join to test out the webs theory 

[photo of Spider-Man stood on the ceiling over where Simmons, Helen Cho and Bruce Banner stood around test tubes] 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
Apparently, I'm the only adult here 

[photo of Tony laughing looking at a small fire on a work bench while the Shuri, Monica and Fitz look on concerned] 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
That’s blatant Helen Cho erasure 

[video of Helen looking worried while Simmons, Bruce and Spider-Man gesture about making a small cut on someone use the webs to try to close the wound] 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
That’s a good point 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
[video of Fitz excitedly gesturing while arguing that a monkey would be the best shape for H.A.N.A while Shuri is arguing that a more humanoid shape would be better] 

Science biatch @ScottishMonkey  
Monkeys are humanoid, and they’re friend shaped 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
[video of Tony, Peter and Shuri doing the Candy Store choreography (Tony as Heather Chandler (the red one), Shuri as Heather Duke (the green one) and Peter as Heather McNamara (the yellow one))] 

*** 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
The first prototype has been finished 

[photo of H.A.N.A, a robot that looks like a mix of a bear and baymax]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to link a photo of H.A.N.A


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the H.A.N.A’s start to become personalised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update cause I've been sent home

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
H.A.N.A is now going through extensive testing to see if it would be viable to be put on the market 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
If H.A.N.A works then they would be released to hospitals and smaller ones will be available for personal usage as a sort of guide dog/therapy animal with medical expertise 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
They would possibly be available for personalisation for certain medical issues 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
For now, though, only the avengers and co will have theirs personalised 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
It's because of our extensive trauma and ptsd from all the shit we have had to put up with 

*** 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
We made ourselves an official Science Kids twitter for updates on H.A.N.A 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
And for any other projects we may start 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
Do you want us to say who it is or just try and guess? 

Whomst. call? @Ghonstbubsters  
Add a bit of mystery, say your name sometimes and others just let us guess and try to work it out 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
That’s reasonable - Shuri 

*** 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
Apparently, the avengers’ H.A.N.A’s are being made in order of the favourite avengers so this should be fun 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
@PepperPotts , @TheBlackWidow , @BoinkyBucket and @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi are in the lead so far 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
I'm not an avenger though 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
They did say avengers and co, you and @TheBlackWidow are the coolest avengers 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Thanks 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
By unanimous votes, we have decided that Bucky will be the first to have a personalised H.A.N.A followed by Natasha and Pepper 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Thanks kids 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
He’s looking at his phone with the softest look  
[photo of bucky with his hair in tiny space buns looking at his phone with a soft look on his phone]  
[photo of bucky glaring at the camera] 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
He noticed 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
You're not subtle, Stevie 

Throw me my keys @WhyTheFuckWouldISayPrinter?  
Who did Bucky's space buns? 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Steve, I taught him though 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
You left out the part where I can also braid his hair 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
True, sorry about that, they did just ask about the space buns though 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Can you dye hair? 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Yep, all sorts of colours 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
What about only dying parts of it? 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Yeah, highlights, ombre you chose 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
So, if I only wanted parts of my hair blue then that could happen? 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Defiantly, Nat’s probably the best bet for that though 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Cool I'll see if she could grab some 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
I’m a literal billionaire, I'll just get F.R.I.D.A.Y to get what you need 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
*cough* sugar daddy *cough* 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Jesus Christ Clint, shut up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, those who watch supernatural, are you guys okay?


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stove goes on a rant and Bucket helps out

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
I was on a coffee run for the Science Kids and the others when I was dragged into a conversation with a Karen who supposed that just because I was born in the 40s that I must be homophobic 

Homosexuality is a sin @I_want_to_speak_to_the_manager  
Homosexuality is a sin though 

Pan without a plan @Deadedpool  
That’s a cliché, I mean me doing this to call out a cliché is a cliché in itself 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
When I took the super serum, it cured me of all illness, one thing that didn’t change though? My bisexuality 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
So that means that loving the same gender can't be an illness that you can just torture out of people 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
I didn’t fight for this country just to find out that you’re still stuck in your homophobic, racist, sexist ways 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
Me and Buck literally grew up in Brooklyn it had one of the most diverse areas in New York, I am a first-class Irish immigrant, @BoinkyBucket , help me explain 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
What do you want me to say? That you were a tiny bisexual chihuahua of a kid that couldn’t stop getting into fights with homophobic and sexist people? 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
That basically sums it up 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
I wasn’t a chihuahua though 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Press (X) for doubt 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
X 

Least favourite bird @folcon  
X 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
X 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
X 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
X 

Mischief and Snakes @Snek God  
X 

The Better Captain @Capt.Marvel  
X 

DangerAgent @Actually_in_charge  
X 

Captain Eyepatch @PirateSwagger4Life  
X 

Spoopy Sister @BitchyWitchy  
X 

Speedy boi @nyoom  
X 

*** 

Group chat – and they were roommates 

Bucky: you okay? You seemed really pissed 

Steve: yeah, just those fucking people thinking that just because we were born when it was illegal to be gay doesn’t mean that’s how we feel 

Bucky: it sucks, we could do something about it though  
Bucky: I know you don’t want to be out yet and that’s fine but when you’re ready? 

Steve: yeah...  
Steve: also I'm not a fucking chihuahua 

Bucky: sure darling 

*** 

Least favourite bird @folcon  
@BoinkyBucket are you the reason Steve’s not training?  
[photo of Steve sat cross legged on the floor looking at his phone with a small smile] 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
We've been training for ages, we’ve done enough 

Least favourite bird @folcon  
Sure, ice cream? @CaptainAmerica @BoinkyBucket ? 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Sure 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
Why not 

*** 

Group chat – ancient uncles and spider baby 

Steve: hey, Peter, do you still have the two bros chilling in a hot video? 

Spider-baby: how do you know about that 

Bucky: we’re super soldiers remember 

Spider-baby: true, and yeah, I still have it  
Spider-baby: also, why am I spider-baby? 

Steve: because you’re baby  
Steve: could we have the video? 

Bucky: we need it for reasons 

Spider-baby: ominous but sure  
Spider-baby: [video of Steve and Bucky sat in a hot tub next to each other with Peter’s voice quietly singing ‘two bros chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they’re not- oh' Peter stops as Bucky and Steve have begun to make out with each other] 

Bucky: thanks kid 

Steve: you’ll see what we’re using it for in a moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr if you want to vibe/yell at me at https://www.tumblr.com/blog/everyfandomthereis


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky come out in the most dramatic way possible

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
So, you’re homophobic 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
Fuck off  
[video of Steve and Bucky sat in a hot tub next to each other with Peter’s voice quietly singing ‘two bros chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they’re not- oh' Peter stops as Bucky and Steve have begun to make out with each other] 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
Thanks @The Only PBJ for taking the video 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
It was my pleasure 

SpideyStan @Flash  
Like Penis would be able to get into the avengers tower for that 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
Listen son, Peter is a wonderful kid who can keep up with Tony and Bruce in their labs and so there’s no surprise that he’s Tony’s personal intern 

SpideyStan @Flash  
Sure, but he's lying about the internship along with @MJ and @Nedward 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
MJ and Ned are also great kids 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
@Flash , you are harassing SI employees, continue and you can and will be sued 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
@Flash , you should be scared  
[photo of Natasha and Bucky sharpening knives while glaring at the camera] 

*** 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
@CaptainAmerica , @BoinkyBucket , well done for coming out though next time you do something like that tell me first please 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Sorry, I blame Stevie though 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
Sorry Pepper, it was a spur of the moment type thing (and Buck, you suggested the video rather than just a tweet) 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
True, but you look hot in the video 

Least favourite bird @folcon  
Stop complimenting your boyfriend while he’s training 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Don’t think I will, actually, I think I'll come train with him 

Least favourite bird @folcon  
Wow, that’ll be so helpful

*** 

Look at all them chickens @Pan-with-a-plan  
Oh boyo, @Tremors help 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
What? Oh, that, ha 

Look at all them chickens @Pan-with-a-plan  
So helpful, thanks 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
You're welcome 

*** 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
They went to get ice cream and then fell asleep rewatching good omens  
[photo of Steve and Bucky asleep cuddled together with Peter looking half asleep leaning on Natasha who’s petting his hair and focusing on the TV] 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
It's not good omens anymore, me and Peter paused it when they fell asleep, it’s now love, Simon 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
@I_Am_Iron_Man , @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi , get out the labs, this has turned into an impromptu movie night and bring more popcorn with you 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Nat’ll kill me for this but look  
[photo of Peter asleep on Natashas shoulder his face hidden and Natasha looking softly down at him] 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
It really is мама-паук and паук ребенок 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Spider solidarity bitch 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
мама-паук! Don’t be mean :( 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Sorry паук ребенок, go back to sleep


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dance lessons and Spider-Man doesn’t have bones :)

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Don’t forget to stretch before dancing, even if you do have spider DNA 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Regretting not stretching? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Yep, it was fun though 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Not having bones helped as well 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Not having what? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
I don’t have bones :) 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
How would I be that flexible if I had bones 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
This sounds like a shitpost but it's true 

Guy in the chair @Nedward  
I was horrified the first time I found out, but it’s kinda normal now 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
He doesn’t have bones 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
Yes, catch up old man, seriously 

Guy in the chair @Nedward  
(I can feel the eyeroll from here) 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
(same, it's scary) 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
I'm being dragged to the lab for tests, a guy can't just say something and people move on these days 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Y o u s a i d y o u d i d n ‘ t h a v e b o n e s 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
I thought you knew, I have spider DNA, I'm part spider which means no bones 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
I also now have allergies, it's not fun 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
[video of Tony sat on the floor mumbling to himself about how Spider-Man doesn’t have bones and has allergies]  
I think it’s affected him a bit 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
If you don’t have bones, what do you have? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Exoskeleton :) and cartilage :) 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Okay, okay 

*** 

Group chat – Ironfam 

IronDad: Peter what the fuck? 

SpiderSon: I don’t have bones :) 

IronDad: I know but how did you find that out? 

IronMum: what? Peter doesn’t have bones? 

SpiderSon: I have a sort of exoskeleton that’s under my skin, but my bones aren't bone, they're cartilage 

IronDad: that doesn’t make it much better but okay 

*** 

Group chat – Science Kids 

Monica: YOU DONT HAVE BONES?? 

Simmons: what? Who doesn’t have bones? 

Daisy: Spider-Man doesn’t have bones 

Shuri: peter you dumbass 

MJ: its all over twitter cause Peter was dancing with Natasha and mentioned his lack of bones 

Ned: MJ called Tony Stark an old man 

Peter: in my defence, I didn’t mean to worry Tony and I thought he already knew about my lack of bones  
Peter: and my spider related allergies and behaviour  
Peter: like the ceiling thing  
Peter: I wonder if Tony knows I don’t thermoregulate?  
Peter: I'm going to go tell him 

*** 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Mr. Stark? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Yes kid? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
I don’t thermoregulate either :) 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
You don’t thermoregulate, is that why you’re always stealing my hoodies? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Mayhaps :) 

*** 

Group chat – Science Kids 

Peter: he didn’t react as badly to that 

Simmons: if you don’t thermoregulate then what happens? 

Peter: I've just got to stay warm or I hibernate :) 

Simmons: what spider related allergies do you have? 

Peter: mint mainly with some citrus


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> vine references

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Mr. Stark before he stopped drinking  
[two shots of vodka vine] 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
I mean you’re not wrong 

*** 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
@CaptainAmerica ’s favourite vine is  
[how did you take down Captain America vine] 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
It is, but Bucky's is  
[well if it isn't the man with the giant metal frisbee vine] 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Like when I suggested we do that you didn’t immediately agree to do it 

Hhnnngg Black Widow @I’m a lesbian  
Did you video it? 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Of course  
[video of Bucky in his Winter Soldier uniform saying ‘well if it isn't the man with the giant metal frisbee’ and Steve in his Captain America uniform holding his shield replying with ‘I’m Captain America’ and bucky repeating ‘the man with the giant metal frisbee’] 

Hhnnngg Black Widow @I’m a lesbian  
That’s brilliant 

*** 

What do you have there? @a knife  
@The Only PBJ what are the avengers favourite vines?/what are they as vines? 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Good question 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Natasha’s favourite vine is ‘and they were roommates’ but her as a vine would be ‘step the fuck up kyle’ 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Clint’s is ‘I won't hesitate bitch’ but as a vine he's actually ‘all you gotta do is walk awaAaAy’ 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Tony likes the trombone and oven door one and him as a vine is the throw me my keys series 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Bucky likes all the Captain America ones and make me a yoyo man 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Steve loves ‘how did you take down Captain America/ I shot him in ze legs because he shield is ze size of a dinner plate and he is an idiot’ 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
And Steve and Bucky are ‘two bros chilling in a hot tub five feet apart because they're not gay’ 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Thor likes ‘I wanna be a cowboy babeyy’ but he’s actually ‘i don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets’ 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Bruce loves ‘fre sha voca do’ and is ‘it’s an avocado, thanks’ 

HelpI’mAddictedToTea @slurpslurpbitch  
That’s amazing 

What do you have there? @a knife  
Brilliant, what about spider-man? He's an avenger isn't he? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Aaaaaaa! That’s very nice but im not an avenger 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
His favourite vine is all of them, if you start a vine while he's on patrol he’ll most likely finish it and he’s ‘its wednesday my dudes, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’ 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
He's correct

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's tomorrow now


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> merry chrysler

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Happy crimus 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Its chrismun 

Spoopy Sister @BitchyWitchy  
Merry crisis 

Speedy boi @nyoom  
Merry chrysler 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
[video from Bucky’s perspective moving through a hallway walking into a living room where Peter, Shuri, Wanda and Pietro are sat, singing ‘you betta watch out’ getting louder each time] 

*** 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
Happy holidays from SI and the avengers 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Happy holidays 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
Have fun, don’t die 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
I can't tell if Bucky’s been a good or bad influence on Cap 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Happy holidays as well, from Bruce and Nat as well as they can't get to their phones at the moment 

The og furry @King_T’Challa_of_Wakanda  
Merry holidays 

Mischief and Snakes @Snek God  
I suppose I should wish you all joyful holidays 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
LOKI!! Are you staying for christmas? 

Mischief and Snakes @Snek God  
I suppose 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Loki can stay only if there is no explosions or mind control 

Mischief and Snakes @Snek God  
That's reasonable, but in my defence, I was being mind controlled as well 

God of Lesbians @Thor of Thunder  
Heimdal did confirm that Loki was being mind controlled and we’ll both be on Midgard for the festivities 

*** 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
[photo of the avengers sat around a Christmas tree in various horrible avengers themed Christmas jumpers]  
[photo of Bucky's arm covered in tinsel while Tony looks proud of his creation]  
[photo of Steve in a Winter Soldier themed hoodie with him arm wrapped around Bucky who’s wearing a Captain America hoodie] 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
[photo of Tony in a massive Iron Man hoodie]  
[photo of Peter hiding in the Christmas tree holding Bucky’s arm]  
[photo of Loki holding up a green hoodie with his helmet design on it with a smile] 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
[photo of T’Challa stuck in tinsel and fairy lights]  
The king of Wakanda everyone 

The og furry @King_T’Challa_of_Wakanda  
Delete that 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Nope, you’ll relate better with your subjects if they see you as human, rather than just you in your suit 

*** 

Group chat – Children Of The Vine 

Peter: g u y s 

MJ: what's up loser? 

Ned: ye ye? 

Peter: I HAVE A SPIDERSONA 

Shuri: hahahahahaha  
Shuri: the second avengers furry 

Peter: so rude 

Shuri: you’re basically a spider furry 

MJ: spirry? 

Ned: spidrry? 

Peter: you guys are so mean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have a wonderful holiday/hope you had a wonderful holiday


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pride? in January more likely than you think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year, hopefully it isn't as shitty as 2020 was
> 
> Changing the posting date to the first of January felt amazing

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Pride month biatches 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Its january 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
P R I D E M O N T H 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Its always pride month with you dumbasses 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
By ‘you dumbasses’ do you mean Science Kids or your broken white children? 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Both work, but I meant my broken white children 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Yep 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
I can't speak for all of the Science Kids but I know the majority isn’t cishet - Daisy 

Guy in the chair @Nedward  
Token cishet™, not sure about all the others though 

WhAt'S yOuR dAmAgE hEaThEr? @EnglishBean  
Distingused pan 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
Disaster pan 

Science biatch @ScottishMonkey  
Functional but confused 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
I’m a lesbian 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
I thought you were american (functional bi) 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Disaster bi 

I have two mums and they can kick your ass @MonicaRambeau-Danvers  
Unsure but girls

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Ah, yes, the good old problem where there are hot girls 

But I don’t own a motorbike @Tremors  
It’s a nationwide issue 

*** 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
I cant find my milk 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
He needs some milk 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
I do :( @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi , @TheBlackWidow have you seen my milk? 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Sorry, милая, I haven’t 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
Ive been in the lab all day (we had lunch) so I havent seen it sorry 

*** 

New group chat was created  
[cawcaw mtherfcker added BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
[cawcaw mtherfcker changed BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi’s name to Bruce]  
[cawcaw mtherfcker added TheBlackWidow]  
[cawcaw mtherfcker changed TheBlackWidow’s name to Nat]  
[cawcaw mtherfcker changed their name to Clint]  
[cawcaw mtherfcker has changed the group chats name to we’re the acethetic aces up our sleeves, and we all wear the pants in this relationship] 

Clint: I realised that we didn’t have a group chat, so I made one 

Nat: чувак, почему 

Clint because I love you, dude, that’s why 

Bruce: I could've had a normal relationship, with normal people 

Clint: yeah, but would a normal person bring you takeout when you're on a lab binge 

Nat: and have you considered that we love you? 

Bruce: good points, carry on 

Nat: what's with the ridiculously long chat name though? 

Clint: three ace puns for three aces 

*** 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
They're adorable  
[photo of Clint, Natasha and Bruce all in the same armchair, Clint is perched on the arm leaning down to talk quietly with Natasha who has Bruce asleep draped over her] 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Nat has fallen asleep as well  
[photo where Natasha's head is resting on Clint’s thigh and Bruce is still draped over the sleeping Natasha, clint is looking down fondly at them] 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Thanks @The Only PBJ for taking the photo 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
You’re welcome, it makes a difference from most of the photos of you guys 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Peter joined it  
[photo of Peter on the other arm of the armchair with Bruce's legs over his] 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
I t ’ s a c u d d l e p i l e

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> милая means 'honey'  
> чувак, почему means 'dude, why'
> 
> because Natasha and Clint would romantically call each other dude


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i aced this chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late, I had a rough week and forgot to post

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
@The Only PBJ , you aced that photo 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
It's started, no one is safe 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
I don’t know, I think it’s pretty am-ACE-ing 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
We should probably pACE ourselves with these puns 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
I'm doing this for the acethetic 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
Hey, @Capt.Marvel , space is pretty ace right? 

The Better Captain @Capt.Marvel  
Hell yeah 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
My past is pretty shitty, I wish I could erACE some of it 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Being surrounded by cishets who think you’re a cishet is like being a secret agent 

The Better Captain @Capt.Marvel  
Lesbionage 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
Bi spy 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
It's an ace case 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Secret gaygent 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
Remember when I ace-ended into space 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
@cawcaw mtherfcker , if you’re ace and I'm ace then who’s giving a fuck? 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
I don’t know, I guess we’ll have to leave without a trACE 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
I'm great in bed, I can sleep for days 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
I want to do people like I want to do paperwork, not at all 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Let me get this straight 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
More like let me run this bi you 

The Better Captain @Capt.Marvel  
Lesbi honest 

Least favourite bird @folcon  
Let's pan this out 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
We should ace-ess the situation 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
I'm gay 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Why frick frack when you can snick snack 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Oh my god Clint that was terrible 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
It was you’re pun-ishment 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
You're terrible 

*** 

WhAt'S yOuR dAmAgE hEaThEr? @EnglishBean  
The likelihood of three people all being aspec and being in a relationship is very low 

Pan without a plan @Deadedpool  
The author doesn’t care, she’s projecting onto her favourite characters, you would’ve been aspec too if the author didn't think that might've been a bit much. This entire fanfic is purely because the author was bored during quarantine and started planning this, eventually publishing with the help of her best friend 

WhAt'S yOuR dAmAgE hEaThEr? @EnglishBean  
Okay, what the hell? Author? Fanfiction? What quarantine? And how did you manage to go over the character limit? 

Pan without a plan @Deadedpool  
The author thought it’d be fun


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more science kids and heelys? Nope, just dRaMa

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Mr Stark? Could I put heelys into the suit please? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
I mean why not 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Cool, thanks Mr Stark, I'll ask the Science Kids to see if they could help (they may kinda know my identity) 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
kid 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
Don’t worry dude, we’re not going to tell anyone 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
We'll keep it a secret, what’s said in the Science Kids group chat stays in the group chat 

Ant man could probably be vored @or vore someone  
So Spidey is really bad at keeping his identity a secret? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Horribly, the rest of the avengers knew within two weeks 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
We all knew when he started walking on the ceiling - Monica 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
Yeah but you called him out on it - Shuri 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
And? I'm like 90% sure you already knew – Monica 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
shit, you right – Shuri 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Could you at least pretend that I'm not useless at having a secret identity, it’s harder than you think 

Guy in the chair @Nedward  
You got changed in front of me 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
You were in my house 

Guy in the chair @Nedward  
You said we would build the Lego Deathstar 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Sorry man, I got caught up patrolling 

SpideyStan @Flash  
Pfft, as if @Nedward knows Spider-Man 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
I think you should be nicer to my guy in the chair 

Guy in the chair @Nedward  
Bro... 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Bro.......... 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
Nerds 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Sorry MJ, we’ll behave

Guy in the chair @Nedward  
Sorrryyyyyyyy 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
They're like this all the time 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
[video of tony looking at his phone both fondly and mildly scared muttering ‘i have so many children’] 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
@ I_Am_Iron_Man your ‘kids’ will take over the world 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
And you’ll thank them 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
And I’ll thank them, how did I end up with so many children 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Welllll 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
no 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
None of them are mine biologically, legally however (I'm joking, I haven't adopted any of them (yet)) 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Bet Pepper will arrive in 

Whore machine @RhodesIsland  
3

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
2 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
1 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
Tony Stark, you will not joke about adopting children where the media could twist your words, understood 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
What if I wasn’t joking 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
We aren't going to have this discussion over twitter


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> n e w s

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Me and @Spider-Man will be live tweeting the drama from the vents 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
You forgot me 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
We're meeting in vent intersection 420 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
There isn't a ‘vent intersection 420’??? 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Yes there is, we named them so we wouldn’t get lost 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
They're not labelled there's just secret spy things that mark them out 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
I brought rations 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Aww, yiss, snacc 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
I hope you brought enough 

*** 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Everyone in position? 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Yep 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Aye aye, bird man #1 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
I assume bird man #2 is @folcon 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Yep 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Nice 

*** 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Pepper has entered the lab 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
She has a ton of papers and ohhhh okay 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Fall back, get the spiderkid out of here 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
What, why? I can't see whats happening 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
I really picked the worst vent 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
мама-паук and дядя птица have come to pick me up and drag me away 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
We're going to get a ton of cupcakes with научный дядя for some reason 

*** 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
@Nedward 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
@MJ 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Where are you I have n e w s 

*** 

Group chat – Chaos Kids (and MJ) 

MJ: yeah what? 

Guy In The Chair: yeee? 

Peter-Man: Tony and Pepper were talking about getting shared custody of me with May 

MJ: well done  
MJ: I mean you already had a group chat named Iron Fam 

Guy In The Chair: WOOOOO 

[Guy In The Chair changed Peter-Man’s name to Starkson] 

Starkson: Neeeeeeeeeedd 

MJ: I like it 

Starkson: you’re on thin fricking ice bro 

MJ: just say fuck ffs 

Starkson: no :( 

MJ: I can feel the pout from that 

Starkson: good :) 

MJ: nerd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> дядя птица - bird uncle - Clint  
> научный дядя - science uncle - Bruce


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ironfam bonding

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Right fuckers, we’re getting joint custody of @The Only PBJ hurt him and you will die, he’s got the avengers wrapped around his finger 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
That’s not what I told you to do 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
What did I tell you to do? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Tell people that we were getting joint custody of Peter 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
And how did I tell you to do it? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Politely and respectfully but still warn people that if they mess with him there will be consequences 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
And the consequences would be what? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
A lawsuit and not murder 

*** 

Group chat – Ironfam 

SpiderSon: well that was one way to say that you were getting joint custody 

IronMum: sorry about that 

IronDad: whoops? 

IronMum: you’re not even sorry are you? 

IronDad: absolutely not 

SpiderSon: mr staarrrkkkk 

IronDad: peterrrrrr 

***

SpideyStan @Flash  
@The Only PBJ , so what did you have to do to get them to say that? 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
I didn’t even know it was going to happen 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
You've already be told by @PepperPotts and @CaptianAmerica to leave Peter alone 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
You have been continuously harassing a SI employee and @PepperPotts told you that if you continue you will be sued 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
Yes, I did, Peter didn’t do anything wrong to get us to get custody of him 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
He's babey 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Mr stark no 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
He's not wrong, you are babey 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Shuriiii, im not babey 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
That didn’t help your point, just give up, you are a babey 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
No im not :( 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Pete, bambino, that’s not helping 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Noooooooo, calling me babey in Italian is illegal 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
He's blushing 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
What did I ever do to you? 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
Would you like me to list it chronologically or alphabetically? 

*** 

Group chat – Ironfam 

IronDad: when did you learn Italian? 

SpiderSon: May taught me  
SpiderSon: also did you have to call me bambino? 

IronDad: would you prefer cucciolo? Tesoro? Picocolo? Patatino? 

SpiderSon: notgerhge 

IronDad: what happened? 

SpiderSon: MJ grabbed my phone cause he wanted to see why I was blushing 

IronDad: not that keen on them then? 

SpiderSon: oh, he loves them he’s just too embarrassed to say so 

IronDad: who’s this? 

SpiderSon: MJ 

IronDad: I’ll make sure I keep doing it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bambino - baby  
> cucciolo - puppy  
> tesoro - treasure  
> picocolo - little one  
> patatino - potato


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> featuring Tony sitting on people

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
You know how Mr Stark is Small™? 

What do you have there? @a knife  
Are you going to expose him? 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Yep, he keeps calling me bambino and tesoro 

What do you have there? @a knife  
That’s adorable but carry on 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
So, Mr Stark is Small™ and likes to stand on things to be tall 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
So do you 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Hush, I'm exposing one of my father figures 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Mr Stark also sits on people to be taller, usually it’s @RhodesIsland but he sat on Steve which caused Mr Stark to hide in his labs and he was in there for a couple of days 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
But wait there's more 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
While in the labs he was working with Bruce and sat on him, helped with his equation, realised what he was doing and ran off and is now hiding in his rooms 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Peter, tesoro, bambino, cucciolo, why 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
idk, I was bored 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
And you keep calling me bambino, tesoro and cucciolo just to see my reactions 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
But bambino.. 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
It was a bit of a shock, but Tony didn’t need to run away over it 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
I didn’t run away, I had important business to attend to 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
Sure, like you didn’t run away when you sat on @CaptainAmerica ’s lap 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
STRATIGIC RETREAT 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
It was fine, you’re Tiny™ 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Tiny Stark 

Whore machine @RhodesIsland  
Tiny Snark more like 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
You're meant to be on my side, honeybear 

Whore machine @RhodesIsland  
You've literally climbed onto my lap just so you can have a nap 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
That was after I was kidnapped so can you really hold that against me? 

Whore machine @RhodesIsland  
I can and I will, also you’re forgetting last week 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Fuck you 

Whore machine @RhodesIsland  
language 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
language 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
language 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
language 

Least favourite bird @folcon  
language 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
language 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
language 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
You're never going to let me forget that are you? 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Never, we’ll put it on your gravestone 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
‘Here lies Steven G. Rogers  
He would not approve of your language  
RIP Steve’ 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Peter understands 

*** 

What do you have there? @a knife  
@The Only PBJ Do you have a compilation of tony siting on random people cause I think that’d be neat? 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
That would be very neat, I'll get right onto it


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentines day wars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also known as, I can't spell definitely and had to go through twice to check

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
Clint is acting nervous and now I'm worried 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
It's nearly valentine's day and Nat goes all out, it is scary 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Last I got flowers, in every single room I walked into, they were everywhere, and each of them had a different note on them 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
Oh god, now I'm definitely worried 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
:) 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
I wouldn’t do anything to hurt or scare you 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
Thanks, милая

*** 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
It's almost valentines 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
Yep, let the competition begin? 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
It has begun 

*** 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
@I_Am_Iron_Man if you get me another giant bunny or any other giant animal, you will regret it 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Kinky 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Clint no 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
I promise, no giant animals, I'll get you something nice 

*** 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
tfw you’re all alone on valentine's day with an unrequited crush 

Least favourite bird @folcon  
Mood 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
Same 

Gen Z Pepper Potts @MJ  
Yep 

*** 

Pan without a plan @Deadedpool  
The author has decided to skip forward to Valentine's day because she wants to 

*** 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
@TheBlackWidow , @cawcaw mtherfcker , guys...... 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Oh shit we broke Bruce 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Turn him off and back on again? 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
We're skipping movie night, tonight right? 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Definitely 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Yep, we’re going to have our own fun 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
It sounds like you guys are planning on having sex 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Whoops, that wasn’t our intention 

*** 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
BUCKY BARNES YOU DID NOT 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
I did 

*** 

SI CEO @PepperPotts  
Who knew, you can actually be romantic 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
I would be offended but I'm just glad you had fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> милая - dear


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we find out what happened with stucky

Group chat – avengers fam 

Tiny Snark: so whats going on?  
Tiny Snark: Fri refuses to tell me anything 

Bucket: you’ll find out 

Acessassin: hmmmm 

Hawkbi: she knows 

Acessassin: I do ;) 

Bucket: you’re good 

Acessassin: thanks 

Spider-baby: I think I know too  
Spider-baby: also why is my name spider-baby in every group chat? 

Deadpool: the author can't think of another name for you 

Tiny Snark: how did you get into this group chat? 

Deadpool: the author did it for comedic purposes 

[Hawkbi removed Deadpool from avengers fam] 

Hawkbi: you’re welcome 

Stove: anyways, Buck proposed 

Bucket: yes I did 

Stove: I said yes 

Bucket: no you didn’t  
Bucket: your dumbass said no before actually realising what I said 

Stove: in my defence, I thought you were getting a knife  
Stove: and you love my ass

*** 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
D u d e 

What do you have there? @a knife  
What happened? 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
I'll let the people involved say 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
And they will, in the most dramatic way probably 

*** 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
@BoinkyBucket , Barnes Rogers? 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
@CaptainAmerica , why not just Rogers? 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
We gotta carry on the Barnes name somehow 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
I could say the same about Rogers 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
Barnes Rogers? 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Fine 

*** 

What do you have there? @a knife  
They got engaged?!?! 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Yep 

What do you have there? @a knife  
Awesome 

*** 

Group chat – Science Kids 

Monica: finally, those dumbasses can stop pining over each other at all hours of the day 

Peter: I know it’s a relieve 

Shuri: they finally got round to getting married?  
Shuri: thank fuck 

MJ: language, but yeah, I agree 

Daisy: I feel like we’re missing something 

Peter: Steve and Bucky have been pining after each other since like ww2  
Peter: they were like halfway through a conversation on dating each other when Bucky took an impromptu trip down a ravine and “died” (on valentine's day no less)  
Peter: Steve then crashed his plane into the sea cause he couldn’t live without his impulse control  
Peter: Steve was thawed out and basically wanted to go straight back especially after the aliens  
Peter: Steve then had to fight Winter Soldier Bucky who then disappeared  
Peter: then they attacked the base thingy where Wanda and Pietro were being kept and created Ultron  
Peter: when Pietro nearly died trying to protect Clint, Bucky was there and shielded both of them  
Peter: the sort of civil war wasn’t as bad as the media made it out to be  
Peter: Steve and tony were just arguing about where the best place to give bucky treatment would be 

Shuri: obviously it was in Wakanda 

Peter: obviously, and when in Wakanda Bucky was on the good kush and said that he still loved Steve  
Peter: and that’s everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely what happened in the movies


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> return of Italian nicknames and bucky dying his hair (and Harley?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am ill, I am gay, and I want to sleep, instead I'm writing fanfic and watching stranger things with my mother

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
My poor boy™ 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Thanks Mr stark 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
I wasn’t talking about you, tesoro 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Thanks Tiny Snark 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Wasn't talking about you either, bambino 

Tony broke my sisters Dora watch @PotatoGuns  
Finally remembered about me old man? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Patatino! 

Tony broke my sisters Dora watch @PotatoGuns  
Disgusting, carry on 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
You should come over sometimes, I’ll bring over all of the @ScienceKids ? 

Tony broke my sisters Dora watch @PotatoGuns  
Sure, I guess I'll also know Spider-man's identity as well then 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Harsh but probably true 

*** 

Pan without a plan @Deadedpool  
Another one of these? Wow. Anyway, just a quick disclaimer, the author was half asleep when she wrote this so don’t expect it to make all that much sense 

Pan without a plan @Deadedpool  
Also there has been just a quick time skip to when Harley (@PotatoGuns) meets the Science Kids 

*** 

Tony broke my sisters Dora watch @PotatoGuns  
Is this normal? Cause this doesn’t seem healthy 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
It's not, that’s why it's so fun, lighten up patatino 

Tony broke my sisters Dora watch @PotatoGuns  
riiiiight 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
@PotatoGuns you’re nearly a Science Kid, just one last thing 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
Do you know the muffin man? 

Tony’s Science Kids @ScienceKids  
Rbenjdk do you know Spidey’s identity? 

Tony broke my sisters Dora watch @PotatoGuns  
Not yet, i’ll give it like 30 minutes 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Rude 

Tony broke my sisters Dora watch @PotatoGuns  
Turns out I didn’t even need the extra 30 minutes 

Tony broke my sisters Dora watch @PotatoGuns  
You're sat on the ceiling dipshit 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
ITS COMFY 

Tony broke my sisters Dora watch @PotatoGuns  
Bro, you’re gonna drop your phone 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
I'm sticky :) 

Tony broke my sisters Dora watch @PotatoGuns  
Ive seen you drop a wrench and jump onto the bench like a frog 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
How? You weren't even here that was last week 

Tony broke my sisters Dora watch @PotatoGuns  
Clint 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
@cawcaw mtherfcker , I will staple your feet to your ass 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Kinky 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
CLINTON FRANCIS BARTON 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Oh shit 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
@TheBlackWidow , @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi , come get your idiot boyfriend before I castrate him 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
O H S H I T 

*** 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
@TheBlackWidow , help, I may have accidentally kinda possibly sorta let some of the Science Kids dye my hair? And it’s not coming out 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
[photo of bucky pouting at the camera with blue red and white streaks in his hair]  
His hair is America 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Bucky’s hair is Steve 

Many broken white boys @Princess_Shuri_of_Wakanda  
#Bucky’sHairIsSteve is now trending Beter 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Whoops ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint loses his hearing aids and gets a surprise, and Peter has Many Regrets

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Just a quick note everyone, I’ve lost my hearing aids, again 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Spare pair? 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Tony ‘borrowed’ them last week, they now send out an EMP that messes with brainwaves, so they aren't going anywhere near me 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Reasonable, wanna just shot for a couple of hours? 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Yeah, I'll teach you how to use my bows 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Snazzy 

*** 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Okay was anyone going to tell me that Bruce knows sign language or was I just supposed to find out by myself when he asked us if we wanted anything after me and Nat sparred? 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
I thought you knew; I also know when you and Nat are complimenting me in sign 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
That’s why you blush every time 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Why else would he be blushing every time we call him adorable in sign? 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
You knew? 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
Why did you think I did it while he could see? 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
You were doing it on purpose? 

AngryRedhead @TheBlackWidow  
yep 

ScienceBro 1 @BruceBanner_the_hulk_boi  
That makes sense 

*** 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
They’re adorable, they’ve been talking in sign arguing over what they wanted to watch 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Important updated, they decided on watching Sherlock Holmes 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
They’re discussing whether Mr Stark looks like RDJ 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
Clint’s distracted and is now trying to teach me sign language which isn't working cause he’s trying to teach me by signing 

birb boi archer man @cawcaw mtherfcker  
Smartass 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
@CaptianAmerica , he said a bad language word 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
Kid, I don’t give shit if you guys swear, it slipped out cause I was used to telling Buck to shut his fucking mouth 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
@BoinkyBucket , Cap said several bad language words 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
Steven Rogers 

StarSpangledAss @CaptainAmerica  
Thanks Pete 

BeterBarker @The Only PBJ  
You're welcome 

OneArmedBucketBoi @BoinkyBucket  
You fucking hypocrite 

*** 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Oh no, what did I do 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
You alright kid? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
n o 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Whats up? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
You know how my hearing’s better than most peoples? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Yeah..? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
And that the bedrooms are soundproofed for this exact reason? 

Tony Stark @I_Am_Iron_Man  
Oh god, kid, are you saying what I think you’re saying? 

Spooderman @Spider-Man  
Yep 

*** 

Group chat – Ironfam 

IronDad: can you really hear them? 

SpiderSon: y e s  
SpiderSon: I was watching a movie with Nat, Clint and Bruce and when they worked out that something was wrong, we moved to Bruces lab cause the soundproofing is really good there 

IronDad: I hate to have to ask this but  
IronDad: how much did you hear? 

SpiderSon: e n o u g h  
SpiderSon: I knew who was on top 

IronDad: I'm so sorry, I'll get Pepper to yell at them 

IronMum: who do I need to yell at? 

IronDad: Steve and Bucky, read up and you’ll see why 

IronMum: I’ll make sure that they never do that again 

SpiderSon: thank you


End file.
